I'm pleased to announce that the powers-that-be have signed legislation outlawing Purdue football. We begin bombing in a few minutes. (Oops, is this mic on?)
Of course this is a joking allusion; it's not true that Purdue football has been outlawed. That said, starting in about half an hour their fans will wish that it had been, as Notre Dame's football team start to dismantle the Boilermakers. (The carnage can be viewed on ESPN, but parents of small children might wish to protect their youngsters from the horrors.)