The Monokroussos Attack: It's Not Just Good Against the French

On Saturday I bequeathed to the world an unstoppable anti-French Defense weapon, guaranteed to win every time.* That line begins 1.e4 e6 2.Be2, but tonight, in a 1-minute game, I was faced with a terrible question. What do you do if your wily opponent plays something other than 1...e6?

After careful thought, we at Monokroussos Labs, Inc., found a solution to at least one of the alternative cases. Against 1.e4 c5, we play 2.Be2 followed by 3.Bf3 anyway! You can see for yourselves what happened here.**

* Guarantee not valid in the United States or its territories. Or in the surrounding areas. Or basically anywhere on Earth, or any other place people might play chess.

** Yes, I really did play that game, and decided on 2.Be2 just for the amusement value of building on the humorous anti-French post.

A Bust of the French Defense

Dear chess fans!

Are you tired of the French Defense and its annoying, blocked-up positions? Do you wish the people who invented the French pawn chain were themselves chained up? Well, have I got the solution for you! Here at Monokroussos Labs, Inc., our leading research scientist* came up with the answer this morning in the shower and several seconds of intense thought**.

Ready?

It's 1.e4 e6 2.Be2!!, and after 2...d5 3.exd5! exd5 4.Bf3!

Now, I must distinguish this from two lines which might look similar but are in fact incredibly different. There's 1.e4 e6 2.g3 d5 3.exd5 exd5 4.Bg2, but this isn't as good. The move g3 is weakening, and now after 4...Nf6 5.Ne2 (if 5.Nf3, what is the bishop doing on g2?) Black has 5...Bg4! The Monokroussos Variation is aimed to prevent this!

Second, 1.e4 e6 2.d4? d5 3.exd5 exd5 4.Be2 is not the same either, because Black can profitably develop his light-squared bishop to f5 and fight for the e4 square. In the Monokroussos Variation, White still has the option of d3!

Indeed, our new variation has two principal points. The first is to avoid the gruesome French pawn chain, which has probably caused mass suicides and unprecedented levels of depression worldwide. Second, the aim is to avoid this chain while simultaneously keeping Black's bad bishop bad. Thus we keep g4 under control and make f5 (and a6 and b7) worthless. Having achieved these aims, the game will win itself.

Here's a sample variation illustrating the nightmares facing Black:

1.e4 e6 2.Be2!! d5 3.exd5! exd5 4.Bf3! Nf6 5.b3!

White will play Ne2 in due course, but here it would allow ...Bg4. We may play h3 at some point to prevent it, but we'll get Black to waste a tempo with the Bc8 first if we can. Note too that not playing d4 lets White avoid the traditional bad Bc1 in the Exchange French - and indeed, many variations of the French.

5...Bd6 6.Bb2 Qe7+

Aiming to force Ne2. Be careful what you wish for, French fiends...

7.Ne2! Bg4 8.Bxf6!! Qxf6 9.Bxg4! Qxa1 10.Nec3

The cage is shut! 10.Bc8 is good, too.

10...d4 11.Qe2+ Kd8 12.0-0! dxc3 13.Nxc3 Qb2 14.Qb5 b6 15.Qd5 Qxc2 16.Qxa8

16.Bf5 first might be even better.

16...c6 17.Qb7 Rf8

If 17...Re8, then 18.Qc8+ Ke7 19.Re1+ wins. Or if 17...f5, then 18.Qxg7 Re8 19.Qf6+ and 20.Qxf5, with two free extra pawns.

18.Qc8+ Ke7 19.Nd5+! and here Black resigns, as he loses the queen (19...cxd5 20.Qxc2). (This exquisite masterpiece can be replayed here.)

As it turns out, 2.Be2 actually exists in the databases, though my interpretation of it seems to be unique. Neverthless, the mere fact of its existence demonstrates that all the existing monographs on the French are utterly worthless, and their authors should hang their heads in shame. They should return their royalty checks (or better, forward the proceeds to me) and start from scratch, being sure to cover this new, brilliant line in tremendous detail. (While they're at it, the Bücker/Monokroussos Variation 1.e4 e6 2.c4 d5 3.cxd5 exd5 4.Qb3 should finally get mentioned by a French Defense author, too.)

* That would be me. After all, I'm its only research scientist.

** It wasn't that intense.